Much of what Solomon writes in Proverbs 18 reiterates many things he has shared in previous chapters. Yet, every time I read through these Wisdom points, I gain something deeper in meaning from them as they relate to my life. Sometimes the passages are affirming and sometimes they are convicting. I have especially valued everything relating to that big muscle—the tongue. Today, I truly treasure the Wisdom shared about active listening, friendship, and counseling.
Pastoral care—providing emotional and spiritual support—is a bit different then pastoral counseling—more specialized emotional and psychological support—but both require pastors to rest with discernment in the healing work of God’s Spirit. Listening is key, so that is where the pastor must begin. When people open up to talk, it requires eye contact, focused listening, and empathy—the ability to place one’s self in that person’s shoes. We must fight the urge to chime in while a person is trying to share from the wounds in their hearts. The Spirit will guide the conversation.
In our passage today from Proverbs 18, it clearly does not take a pastor to share compassionate or empathetic listening and care. You can be an emotional and spiritual support for others, too. God invites all of us to find our refuge in his name; salvation is found in no other name (Ro 10:13).
As we humble ourselves seeking the miraculous help of God to bring healing, we find the Lord waiting to honor us with his love, friendship, and blessing. “There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother” (Pro 18:24). Jesus is a Friend who stands at heaven’s court and reaches out to love and heal us. Jesus is the Healer, because Jesus is a Friend who offers pure love and vows to never leave us. Healing always flows from him as we agree in his love. So, when 2-3 are gathered in his name, Christ is in the midst ready to extend truth, love, and grace (Mat 18:18-20).
Proverbs 18 NLT
1
Unfriendly people care only about themselves;
they lash out at common sense.
2
Fools have no interest in understanding;
they only want to air their own opinions.
3
Doing wrong leads to disgrace,
and scandalous behavior brings contempt.
4
Wise words are like deep waters;
wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook.
5
It is not right to acquit the guilty
or deny justice to the innocent.
6
Fools’ words get them into constant quarrels;
they are asking for a beating.
7
The mouths of fools are their ruin;
they trap themselves with their lips.
8
Rumors are dainty morsels
that sink deep into one’s heart.
9
A lazy person is as bad as
someone who destroys things.
10
The name of the Lord is a strong fortress;
the godly run to him and are safe.
11
The rich think of their wealth as a strong defense;
they imagine it to be a high wall of safety.
12
Haughtiness goes before destruction;
humility precedes honor.
13
Spouting off before listening to the facts
is both shameful and foolish.
14
The human spirit can endure a sick body,
but who can bear a crushed spirit?
15
Intelligent people are always ready to learn.
Their ears are open for knowledge.
16
Giving a gift can open doors;
it gives access to important people!
17
The first to speak in court sounds right—
until the cross-examination begins.
18
Flipping a coin can end arguments;
it settles disputes between powerful opponents.
19
An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city.
Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.
20
Wise words satisfy like a good meal;
the right words bring satisfaction.
21
The tongue can bring death or life;
those who love to talk will reap the consequences.
22
The man who finds a wife finds a treasure,
and he receives favor from the Lord.
23
The poor plead for mercy;
the rich answer with insults.
24
There are “friends” who destroy each other,
but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
Prayer: Lord, thank you for this lesson today about the power of friendship, love, and empathy. Lead us to be healers of one another. Help us to care deeply and listen carefully to the hearts that carry wounds and need the delivering Savior. We desire to control our tongues and become people who listen more than we talk. Holy Spirit, give us eyes to see and ears to hear how we can be a blessing and a true friend in Christ. In Jesus’ name. Amen.