Every relationship will need to be guarded, because we will face times of disagreement or even intense arguments. It is important to be realistic about what we WILL face as two very different personalities making our individual journeys in life. We are unique people no matter how many things we may share in common. This is true in marriages, friendships, workplace associates, and in church families [just to name a few].
In our passage today from the Book of Ephesians, the Apostle Paul gives us some great advice about how to settle disagreements and arguments. Kindness and grace go together just like compassion and tenderness. So, even in our disagreements, we must agree to remain kind and tender—speaking the truth in love.
So, let’s explore about five ways to put a guard on our thoughts, words, and actions. This will ensure we will not be taken off-guard:
- Remain committed to the Truth—talk truth through honest and respectful words
- Remove the words “always” and “never” from your argument—no verbal weapons
- Resolve conflict at the right time—agree to keep the fight private and under control
- Reinforce your comments with carefully chosen words—no profanity or nasty disparaging remarks
- Refresh the relationship with forgiveness—the goal must be to restore the relationship, so forgiveness will always weigh-in on the life of a believer—Christ always forgives us
Years ago, I had a friend who said when he got into a fight with his wife, he always ended the argument with “I was wrong. You were right. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” I thought to myself…what a wise man! lol! There are times we are simply wrong; it should be easy for us to accept and own it. Otherwise, we have an issue with pride—the area of the flesh where the devil likes to prowl. Let’s imitate our Lord and learn to relate to one another in love, kindness, and with a tenderhearted spirit.
Ephesians 4:25-5:2 NLT 25 So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body. 26 And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 for anger gives a foothold to the devil.
28 If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need. 29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful [like a gift], so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
30 And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own [placed Christ’s seal upon you] guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. 32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Living in the Light
1 Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. 2 Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.
Prayer: Lord, thank you for sealing us with the blood of Jesus; we are marked with righteousness and filled with your love. As we press in to live in a way that glorifies your name, we will put a guard around our thoughts, words, and actions. Holy Spirit, help us to cling to the Truth, control our anger, choose our words carefully, demonstrate respect and honor, and run to ask for forgiveness when necessary. The enemy is busy trying to destroy relationships while you are seeking to redeem and restore them. Help us believe the best and love others as you love us. In Jesus’ name Amen.